American Idol Episode Recap: The Final 2 Perform

After weeks of amazing performances (plus plenty that made us laugh and cringe) we're finally here: the final performance show. Adam Lambert has clearly won the judges over, but can Kris Allen pull the upset? Let's find out!The Final 2 get three chances to wow the crowd of 7,000 (including all the eliminated Season 8 finalists, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Katie Holmes and little Suri) and all of us at home. For starters, both Adam and Kris sing their favorite song from this season. Then, each singer performs a song chosen by Idol creator Simon Fuller. Finally, they must sing the worst song ever written. (More on that in a minute.)Thankfully, we were spared a cheesy theme like last year's boxing motif. Instead, we got family packages, which revealed that Kris was a shy singer as a kid (shocking!) and that Adam got good practice screaming when he was a baby. (The montage of tongue-wagging wails made me laugh). Unfortunately, Paula looks like an Oompa Loompa to Randy's Willy Wonka. But of course, it's all about the songs, so let's take a closer look at each. Kris won the coin toss and (wisely) chose to let Adam go first.ROUND 1"Mad World"The Idol producers chose to give Adam the same lighting cues this time around, but look, fog! Adam doesn't need any help being moody, especially in his black trench coat. I preferred this performance to the first one, if only because he kept it subdued the whole way. I'm more than a little scared that Paula agrees with me. But even though he saved my ears from his screeching, Adam was— as Simon rightly noted — totally rocking a Phantom of the Opera vibe."Ain't No Sunshine"Kris Allen is here to fight, folks. He totally rocked this song the first time he performed it, but he made extra tweaks this time around that made it even more compelling. Randy said Kris was saving his best for last, with which both Paula and Kara agree. Kara also says Kris creates an "intimate bond" with the audience on every song. I agree, but Kara just seems pervy when she makes those comments. Simmer. Simon says he takes back his reservations that America chose the wrong person to face Adam, and even gives Round 1 to Kris. (I wholeheartedly agree with Simon, but perhaps for the last time this season.)ROUND 2"A Change Is Gonna Come"Looking sharp in his silver suit, Adam finally does what I have been dying to see all season. He sings at least half the song in the middle of his register, and he does it wonderfully. It was honestly the first time I have actually heard Adam sing a song I wouldn't turn off on the radio. Yes, he does his usual vocal acrobatics through the end of it, but even at his screechiest, that final note was impressive. Randy calls it "unbelievable," Paula calls it "iconic" and Kara dubs it his best performance of the season. Agreed."What's Going On?"Here, Kris does what I've been harping on Adam for all season: delivering something that was expected. His version of Marvin Gaye's social-change anthem was perfectly competent and Kris' smooth vocals were pitch-perfect. But, as Randy noted, the acoustic feel didn't match the power of Adam's preceding performance, and it also didn't have the same kind of groove that Kris achieved in a similar setup with "She Works Hard for the Money" in Disco Week. Paula still thinks Kris tore the song up, but Adam Lambert clearly dominated the middle round.Before we get to the final round, here's an open letter to the Idol producers:Please stop forcing the winners of American Idol to release these ungodly cheesy songs. Sure, you worked in a plug for your new judge Kara DioGuardi, but it didn't do her any favors. In this case, you're taking a song that doesn't in any way match either finalist's style or sound, and forcing it onto whoever wins. Plus, it ended the show on a terrible note. Please save us all some pain next year. That is all.Moving on...Round 3: "No Boundaries" aka The Worst Song Ever WrittenAdam LambertAdam did the best he could with this song, but it was definitely one of his weakest moments of the season. Randy called it pitchy and Simon blatantly called the song the steaming pile of crap it is. But he also chose to ignore Adam's weak performance to again stump for him to win based on the fact that they have found a "worldwide star." I don't agree, and this performance proves why I have felt that way all season long. Adam Lambert is not "current" and will not make a pop (or even rock) record that the Idol machine generally produces. I'm not saying he's not talented, but I don't think he's going to produce a listenable record. He thrives in the live setting, but showmanship and charisma don't always translate in the studio. Hate me now?Kris AllenKris was equally bad in this round, as the song was clearly in a key that was beyond his range. (Funny that it really wasn't in Adam's either.) Kris' version did sound more radio-ready, but that's always been Kris' edge against Adam. Kara says she hopes people judge Kris on the season, and Simon again acknowledges that Kris deserves to be standing on the stage. (But no worldwide star, huh Simon?) As much as I want Kris to win — and I think he has a better chance than most people are giving him — I still think Lambert has the slightest of edges, even without the judges' fawning praise.So, what did you think? Is it still Adam's title to lose? Did Kris do enough to overcome the judges' bias? Whose record — be honest! — would you listen to on repeat for days or weeks on end? In short, who's gonna win? Vote in our poll below and tell us why in the comments. See you tomorrow as the Season 8 champ is crowned!

from yahoobuzz.com

Analyzing Idol's Top 2: Was Kris Able to Close the Gap?

During these final weeks of American Idol, as each sing-off signed off, TVGuide.com has checked in with TV Guide Network hosts/Idol alums Kimberly Caldwell and Justin Guarini to get their particularly qualified takes on who soared, who stumbled, and which judges' review most rang true.For this final week, Caldwell weighs in on finalists Adam Lambert and Kris Allen and whether this season could turn out to deliver one of the closest votes ever.TVGuide.com: Kris chose to sing second; what's the strategy there — don't let Adam's "wow" factor linger in the air?Kimberly Caldwell: I think it was a great strategy because the last person to perform on the show is normally the one that really sticks in your head! Also, if some of the audience was tuning in late then they definitely got to still see Kris.TVGuide.com: Did either of the guys' own song choices surprise you? Did you predict, perhaps, anything different for either?Caldwell: I thought they were both brilliant song choices. "Mad World" is the performance of Adam's that everybody is still talking about today, and I think he nailed it. But Kris really showed that he was ready to fight in the first round with "Ain't No Sunshine." He knew had to represent — and he did!TVGuide.com: Yeah, Kris came out swinging with "Sunshine." Would you give Round 1 of the night to him?Caldwell: Round 1 goes to Kris!TVGuide.com: Conversely, would you give Adam the edge for Round 2?Caldwell: Adam is a true professional and showed that his previous stage experience has really paid off, so yes, I think he took Round 2.TVGuide.com: On paper, who do you think the song Kara wrote, "No Boundaries," was a better fit for? And Danny Gokey isn't an acceptable answer in this instance!Caldwell: Adam's range is genius and unbelievable at times, so I think the song suited him better. Kris definitely doesn't have Adam's range, but it doesn't make him any less credible. But I was really hoping that the [final] songs would have been specifically written for each individual artist.TVGuide.com: All told, did this final sing-off wind up closer than you anticipated? Caldwell: I think the votes are going to be closer than we all anticipated. Adam has been a front-runner since the beginning of this competition and Kris had been the underdog, but Kris has grown tremendously. They are both superstars at this point.TVGuide.com: What was your singular fave performance of the night?Caldwell: Adam's final performances really had a lot of emotion, and he seemed like he was giving it all he had. I know they are both exhausted at this point, and they really stepped up as true artists tonight.TVGuide.com: The audience for this final performance night was particularly star-studded. Who were you most star-struck to see in the crowd?Caldwell: I love seeing all my old American Idol friends. It's like a family reunion! Go Ruben!TVGuide.com: And how nice of Ryan Seacrest to remind us that Wednesday's results show will run long!Caldwell: Set those TiVos!TVGuide.com: Before we go, have you heard any rumors about Wednesday night duets or special performances? Anything you can tease?Caldwell: I heard a rumor that not only are former American Idol finalists performing but possibly Black Eyed Peas, Cyndi Lauper, Queen Latifah ... and even Steve Martin!? We will have to see if the rumors are true! Hope so!

American Idol: Adam Lambert & Kris Allen Fight To The Actual Death

So that’s it. No more American Idol for another year. Last night Adam Lambert and Kris Allen sang their final songs, so it’s over.
No, hang on, wait - there’s still tonight’s American Idol final results show to go. But, hey, that shouldn’t take too long, should it? Hello, here’s the winner, goodbye. Probably three, three and a half minutes, tops.
What? Two hours? Two full hours, plus the inevitable 30 minutes of unplanned overtime because Paula Abdul will get overexcited while answering a question and start speaking in whalesong for no good reason whatsoever? Thanks, American Idol. You’re spoiling us. Really.
Judging by some of the comments we’ve received this week, this could be one of the most divisive American Idol finals in history. In one corner is Adam Lambert, the show’s break-out star. And in the other is Kris Allen, the amiable dark horse who’s probably only in the American Idol final because people couldn’t bear to see Danny Gokey get any more attention.
Because of this, whoever wins American Idol tonight will blunder into a massive shitstorm. If Kris Allen wins, some will claim it’d be down to bigots working the anti-gay vote. And if Adam Lambert wins, some will threaten to boycott the show because it’s become too camp - which is really saying something for a ballad-heavy singing competition hosted by Ryan Seacrest and judged by Simon Cowell.
But that’ll play out in the days and weeks to come. At least we can all be united on one front - regardless of whether Kris Allen or Adam Lambert sings American Idol, the song that the winner will have to release as a first single is horrible.
No Boundaries, it’s called. It’s all mountains and roads and hapless sincerity. It’s sounds like a bloody Gillette advert. From 1986. Honestly, No Boundaries is so terrible that neither contestant got it right - Kris Allen’s version was off-key and insipid and Adam Lambert’s version was like Meat Loaf karaoke performed by a man with a face like a crying baby.
This is how bad No Boundaries was - American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi said that she didn’t want anyone to be judged by it. And she wrote the bloody thing. What hope do the rest of us have?
If you want to hear No Boundaries for yourself, then we’d suggest tuning into the final American Idol results show tonight where, in a gormless attempt to shift copies, it’ll no doubt be performed twice each by Kris Allen and Adam Lambert, then again by one of the guest stars, then again by a choir of war-scarred orphans standing on a canyon at sunset in front of a firework display made to look like a unicorn hugging a dolphin.
So, who do we think will win American Idol tonight? We’re going to go out on a limb here and say us. Because after tonight we won’t have to write about American Idol again for months. And in many ways, that’s the greatest prize of all.

from www.hecklerspray.com

WIN IT: American Idol Gift Bag and Autographed Photo of Top 13

Hooked on American Idol? Enter Us' Idol sweepstakes for a chance to win prizes courtesy of the hit FOX reality show!
Three lucky Idol fanatics will score a prize package worth $180 -- including an autographed photo of the Top 13, a Karaoke Revolution® Presents: American Idol® Encore 2 video game, t-shirts, a fleece hoodie, duffel bag, cap and water bottle.
Open to residents of the continental U.S. age 18 and older, the contest runs from now until May 22. To enter, fill out the electronic entry form here.
All online entries must be received by 5:00 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) on 05/22/09. Limit one entry per person. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Click here for official rules.

from http://www.usmagazine.com

Simon Cowell Predicts Idol Winner

Simon Cowell has picked his favorite American Idol contestant of the season — and it comes as no shock that it's season-long front runner Adam Lambert.
"I would have to put my money on Adam right now," Cowell told Oprah Winfrey during a guest appearance on her talk show Monday. "I think he's got that 'it,' and I think he's fearless and I think he's unique. And he's got swagger."
The episode also featured Britain's Got Talent superstar Susan Boyle, who answered Winfrey's question about whether she would get a makeover before her appearance on the Talent semifinals this month. "Depends what you mean by a makeover," Boyle said. "My best friend helps with my makeup. That's hardly a makeover."
When Winfrey inquired about her hairstyle change, Boyle downplayed her new 'do. "That was just to tidy myself over like any female would've done," said Boyle.

fromhttp://www.tvguide.com/

American Idol Then & Now

He's about to compete in the finals on American Idol, but we have pictures of him when he first started his entertainment career, on the stage at Mt. Carmel High School.

The "Idol" front-runner performed a brief set for adoring fans and screaming teenagers at Mount Carmel High School Friday, May 8.
His legacy at the school includes more than a few performances with the drama club. These pictures are from the March 1998 performance of "Music Man." Lambert, who was a high school junior at the time, played Marcellus Washburn, the friend of Prof. Harold Hill, in the classic musical. As part of the performance, Lambert sang "Shipoopi."

We're told Lambert was the understudy for the starring role. The student who nabbed the role of Harold Hill is as far away from "American Idol" as you can get, studying law.
Lambert joins a few famous alumni from Mt. Carmel High School including Blaine Cotter from "The Biggest Loser" and Eric Chavez who plays professional baseball with the Oakland A's.

from http://www.nbcsandiego.com/

American Idol: the Incident

So sure were we yesterday that Kris Allen would be voted off of American Idol this week that we Photoshopped him into a coffin. Oops! On last night's episode, Kris rose from the dead, John Locke–style, after which Ryan Seacrest detonated a hydrogen bomb, sending Danny Gokey back to Milwaukee and erasing our memories of him forever. (This is exactly how it happened.)
So, astonishingly, we may actually have an interesting finale to look forward to next week. For the past two months, all indications have pointed to an eardrum-exploding Danny-Adam screech-off spectacular. But now that Danny — who was never once in the bottom three before last night — is out, who will inherit his legions of tone-deaf voters? Idol producers seem to have their hearts set on an Adam Lambert victory, though one imagines he'll have trouble making inroads with the Christian soldiers who kept Danny on the show all this time. Will they break for Kris, also something of a God-rocker, who won new pull with heathens this week for his awesome acoustic version of Kanye's "Heartless" on Tuesday? IS KRIS NOW THE FRONT-RUNNER? Yes, probably! Even so, we'll refrain from making any bold pronouncements about his imminent victory, since we tend to be wrong about practically everything.

from www.myng.com

American Idol 8: Top 3, Live Results

Gokeface has made the final three on American Idol, much to my music-loving chagrin. Danny Gokey is a good singer, but he's the kind of singer who exists in every city in America. A guy with a really great voice, who's kind of awkward and has no musical ability outside of that voice. You won't be finding an Adam Lambert in Milwaukee, that's for damn sure. You might find a Kris Allen, but even Allen is a rare musical talent, combining a great voice, the ability to play multiple instruments and a real understanding of how to make songs uniquely his own. There is no question that Kris and Adam are greater talents than Danny Gokey. This is why if Kris or, somehow, Adam are eliminated tonight, all hell will break loose. After his incredible performance of "Heartless," Kris Allen deserves a spot in the finale. He absolutely does. Yet, the Idol producers and the Idol judges seem to believe that Danny Gokey is the man worthy of the final two, a preference as offensive as it is baffling. Let us, then, get it on. Tonight's results show will have some special guest performances (Jordin Sparks and Katy Perry), but the main event is and always will be the results. Hopefully, I will no longer have to desecrate the Temple of Gokey this season. Hopefully, we will have an exciting final week of American Idol. Strap in, grab a tasty beverage, snack on some pistachios and join me for another raucous night of American Idol results

Tim Roth just walked in slow motion out of his Lie Detector Institution, which means it's time for American Idol.Ben Stiller opens the show tonight at the "American Idol Desk" saying that Seacrest hurt himself in a bikini waxing incident. It's a shameless promotion for Night at the Museum 2, but we also get Bill Hader, Hank Azaria, Bill Hader and Jonah Hill. It's kind of funny, yet shameless at the same time. Yay, cross-promotion!Kevin Bacon in the house!!! Seacrest informs us that over 88 million votes came in last night. That's right. 88 million. Only one million votes separated the top 2 tonight. That's cool news, meaning the finale should be close. Randy Jackson is wearing lavendar tonight, Kara rocking the female mohawk thing (is there a name for this?) and Paula is wearing another one of her prom dresses.Ford Music Video: It's another half live-action, half-cartoon. The three men face challenges, like snarling dogs, clouds and a street blocked off by cars. The Ford intern on mushrooms strikes again. The fine-looking Alicia Keys comes on stage to talk about Idol Gives Back type things.A guy named Noah performs a song called "I Am the World's Greatest." Apparently he's been making money for HIV prevention in Rwanda. Noah is a little kid who bounces around jubilantly on stage. It's not a very good song, unfortunately. Halfway through the song, Noah "breaks it down." Cute kid, crappy song. This is going to be a long, long night. After this first commercial, we're going to watch some long video packages of the top 3 traveling to their hometowns. I don't need to see Milwaukee.

fromwww.buddytv.com

'American Idol' Plans To Embrace Extra-Long Shows (NWS)

Earlier this year, there was some grumbling among DVR users and Fringe fans when a few Tuesday night American Idol episodes scheduled for an hour ran over.
But Idol creator Simon Fuller tells Billboard that he has a plan to deal with that: he's going to embrace those longer shows.
One of the things we've learned and will address next year is that there were a couple of shows that we didn't have enough time on; we tried to cut to an hour too early. Now everyone is in agreement that next year we'll make those shows hour-and-a-half shows and we'll have more time to benefit from having four judges.
Um, has he discussed this with Fox yet?
We're pretty sure Fox would change their schedule around to accomodate its cash cow, but the problem is that Fox might not have an appropriate half an hour comedy to slot after Idol. Granted, it's still early, Fox hasn't even announced its schedule for this fall let alone next winter, when American Idol comes back. But if Idol's planning to go ahead with that hour-and-a-half format, that might mean Fringe, which has been a hit after Idol at 9, could get moved to another night, which could affect its ratings—not so much because it wouldn't have the Idol lead-in but because of competition from other networks on different nights.
And what does Fox even have that it could pair with American Idol for that remaining half-hour? The following are half-hour shows already renewed for next year or ones that could be picked up:
Already renewed:
American Dad
Family Guy
The Simpsons
'Til Death
Likely to be renewed:
COPS
Pilots likely to be picked up:
Sons of Tucson
Cleveland
Brothers
We doubt Fox will move any of its Sunday night animated series to Tuesday or Wednesday, and it's likely that Seth McFarlane's new animated series, Cleveland, will get a spot on Sunday too. And COPS? Please.
That leaves returning sitcom 'Til Death and newcomers Suns of Tucson and Brothers vying for the post-Idol spot. Since Sons of Tucson and Brothers seem so male-centric, we doubt they'd be a good fit with Idol, and Fox will probably want to pair them together. Our bet is that if Idol does go to an hour-and-a-half, 'Til Death will get the 9:30 slot, which could give a ratings boost to a show that hasn't attracted much of an audience.

from www.businessinsider.com

how adam lambert single handedly save "americanidol"

Rob Sheffield’s complete American Idol piece, “Whole Lotta Lambert,” is on newsstands now in our new issue. He will also take over RollingStone.com to live blog the Idol finale on May 20th.
American Idol is back on top, and it’s all one little black-leather-clad demon prince’s fault. For the past few seasons, Idol seemed to be dying of boredom, but Adam Lambert, a goth studlet with mascara, black nail polish and a falsetto from deep in the larynx of Lucifer, has single-handedly rescued the franchise. He can do sincerity and ridiculosity all at once, exactly the algorithm Idol has been striving for all these years. Lambert combines the different Idol archetypes, delivering the complete star thrill heretofore doled out one sliver at a time. He has the burning “say my name, bitch” thing of Chris Daughtry, the cutthroat vanity of a Carrie Underwood, but also that innocent desire to give pleasure à la Kelly Clarkson. He packs a whole Gong Show of Americana into one pair of striped spandex tights. (Savor the spandex and guyliner in these photos of Lambert’s finest Idol moments.)
Where the hell did they find this guy? There’s a “boy who fell to Earth” quality about him, like David Bowie’s Lady Stardust come to life. It’s a little hard to believe that, until a few months ago, he was toiling away as an obscure understudy in the L.A. production of Wicked. He’s easily the most fun Idol ever, a flam-bam-boyantly queeny California boy who has devoted his nights to making Midwestern housewives slobber into their tubs of Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra. Whether he’s slutting up a rocker like “Born to Be Wild” (”wiii-eeee-iiyaaaiild!”) or sobbing his way through “Mad World,” he oozes pure awesome-stosterone.
Having Adam around seems to cheer everybody up, including the other singers, who know the pressure’s off. Hell, even Simon looks happy. Yeah, it’s supposed to be a competition, but part of Glambert’s charm is that by removing all the bogus suspense from the show, he’s made it watchable again.
We don’t know for sure if Glambert is gay — all he says is he has nothing to hide or deny — but if not, it’s the gayest embodiment of flaming youth by a straight guy since Bowie sold the world. Glambert plays off the new gay stereotype that has been reality TV’s gift to our culture: the hyperfunctional gay dude who has his shit together in contrast to all the neurotic, insecure straight guys around him. He reverses the joke from Mean Girls — he’s too gay not to function. Somewhere along the line, this has become an iconic gay image in the mainstream — seen more recently in I Love You, Man, where the only person with any confidence is the gay Andy Samberg character, who gets to be strong while all the straight boys are sulky little bitches. …
For the rest of Rob Sheffield’s thoughts on American Idol — including why Lambert reminds us of 1973 Triple Crowd winner Secretariat — check out our new issue, on stands now. And don’t miss his live blog of the Idol finale here at RollingStone.com on May 20th. Check out all our Idol recaps and news, too.

from http://www.rollingstone.com/

Jamie Foxx Offers His 'American Idol' Prediction, Advice

As Kris Allen and Adam Lambert prepare for their head-to-head battle in the "American Idol" finale, Jamie Foxx said he already knows the name of the winner.
"Kradam! That's both of them," Jamie joked with Access Hollywood's Nancy O'Dell. "Adamis!"
VIEW THE PHOTOS: 'American Idol's' Final 3: Adam Lambert, Kris Allen & Danny Gokey
Joking aside, Jamie — who got a chance to work with each of the finalists as one of this season's special guest mentors – said he thinks the title of "Idol" will go to the man who has been the frontrunner most of the season.
"Adam is gonna win, I believe," Jamie admitted.
VIEW THE PHOTOS: 'American Idol's' Season 8's Top Ten Visit The Access Hollywood Set
However, the Oscar winner and platinum-selling artist said he sees nothing but big things ahead for Kris.
"For me, this is my opinion, that Kris dude, I guarantee you, he's got something special," Jamie told Nancy. "And if you notice, most of the people that don't win usually end up with crazy careers."
In fact, if Kris is looking for anyone to duet with, Jamie told the aspiring singer he's ready.
VIEW THE PHOTOS: 'American Idol' Season 8 Contenders & Their Celebrity Look-A-Likes
"I told him. I said, 'I'll do it right here with you,'" the actor recalled of his mentoring session with Kris. "Because the way his nuance is, he's not trying to win the contest – he was just giving you the real thing."
"He sang something and he looked in my eyes, I was like, 'Oh man!' you know. It was crazy. I said, 'Dude, you got something.'"
And while he was clearly impressed with Kris' singing chops, he did offer some advice to the "Idol" hopeful.
"I asked Kris what he wanted to do. He said, 'I want to do pop music.' And I told him there is no such thing as pop music," Jamie continued. "You do the music from your soul and then you hope it becomes popular."
The new "American Idol" will be crowned on May 20.

from www.nbclosangeles.com

American Idol Socks It To Gokey

So now we know who the American Idol finalists are. And now we know that one of them isn’t Danny Gokey. Thank heavens.
Despite being a leading contender to win American Idol from the get-go, thanks to his unique combination of tragic backstory, inability to scream properly and having a face like a remedial-level semi-melted walnut, last night saw poor old Danny Gokey ejected forever.
Gokey’s goodbye sets up a thrilling American Idol final between Adam Lambert and Kris Allen that, if we know American Idol, will be 16 hours long and drive everyone to the brink of tedium-induced suicide. Joy.
Now we’re no American Idol experts - in our mind, all the previous seasons have somehow merged into one solid, impenetrable tumour that sounds like I Will Always Love You played on a glockenspiel made out of abused circus monkeys - but has a contestant as uniformly disliked as Danny Gokey ever made it to the American Idol semi-final before?
It’s hard to imagine. For someone so fundamentally unlikeable as Danny Gokey to make it anywhere near the American Idol top three is slightly staggering. It means that people were rooting for Danny Gokey after his first audition went from tear-flecked “I’m doing this for my dead wife in heaven” tragedy to uncomfortably jockish, Durstesque whooping in the blink of an eye once he knew he’d passed to the next round.
It means that people were rooting for Danny Gokey when, during Disco Night, he danced like a baby deer with polio on an ice rink on a cruise ship in a hurricane. It means that people were still rooting for Danny Gokey when he used his rendition of Dream On by Areosmith to make a noise like a constipated pterodactyl being punched in the face. It’s bizarre.
But if there’s one thing that nobody could possibly ever root for, it’s the image of Danny Gokey standing next to a saxophone singing scat to a Terrence Trent D’Arby song. That’s an unforgivable crime, and it’s why Danny Gokey was finally eliminated from American Idol last night. Reuters reports:
Paula Abdul appeared to fight back tears. Afterward, judge Simon Cowell said Gokey’s elimination and the looming showdown between Adam Lambert and Kris Allen, who was considered an underdog, came as a surprise. “None of us would have predicted this, guys,” Cowell said. “No disrespect, because you were brilliant last night, and just now by the way Danny, congratulations.”
Ah yes, the American Idol final. It’s Adam Lambert vs Kris Allen. And, really, it could go either way. It’s the plucky underdog against the season’s swaggering show-stopper. It’s the humble everyman against the snarling alien. It’s (possibly) gay against (we’re assuming) straight. It’s a man so painfully anonymous that he may as well have spent the last six months with his face pixellised like someone from Cheaters against a creepy bloke with a singing voice that we imagine sounds like Joe Pasquale ejaculating. And we wouldn’t miss it for the world.
But only out of professional obligation. You don’t think we’d actually watch American Idol if we didn’t have to write about it the next day, do you? Because, you know, it’s sort of rubbish

from hecklerspray.com

American Idol: Simon Cowell Is A Stroppy Little Madam

God, is American Idol still going? Yeesh. We want it to end now. And it’s not just us - Simon Cowell does too.
Or we assume he does, based on his pissy demeanour throughout last night’s American Idol. Last night, faced with the nightmarish proposition of Kris Allen singing One Republic, Adam Lambert singing U2 and - God help us all - Danny Gokey singing scat, Simon Cowell decided that the best way to get through American Idol was by being an arsehole.
We’re not making that up. Danny Gokey sang scat. Frankly we’re surprised Simon Cowell didn’t punch anyone in the face.
This season of American Idol has been going on since approximately the actual dawn of bloody man, so naturally people have their own personal endurance limits when it comes to watching it. We, for instance, tend to get sick of American Idol during the first tenth of the first second of the first promo announcing the first episode of the season. But that’s just us.
For others it’s the interminable doldrums of the American Idol mid-section where the public hacks away week after week at mediocre nobodies like what’s his name and whojammacallit and it doesn’t seem to make a blind bit of difference to the number of remaining contestants. And then there’s Simon Cowell, whose own personal endurance gave up the ghost during last night’s American Idol.
And for good reason, too. Last night the remaining three American Idol contestants were put through Judge’s Choice night, where each of the American Idol judges picked songs for the performers - with the exception of Randy Jackson because the song he chose, a ditty called Woo Dog Dog Dog Baby Dog Baby Hollywood Baby Dog Dog, doesn’t actually seem to exist.
Anyway, long story short, Kara DioGuardi made Kris Allen sing Apologize by One Republic. And that’s bad enough - Apologize is the sort of song that’s popular with people who don’t actually like music and just want a background noise to block out the voices in their head telling them to hurt themselves - but then Kara decided to criticise the song choice afterwards, which set Simon Cowell off on a stroppy little rampage:
“It’s a copout. … You can’t choose a song for him then blame him for doing the song,” Cowell said. “You didn’t hold up to your responsibility.” “You’re gonna tell me about interpreting songs?” DioGuardi shot back. “Have you ever interpreted a song in your life?”
As for the other American Idol contestants, Adam Lambert sang One by U2 on Simon’s say-so and Cryin’ by Aerosmith, which largely sounded identical to One by U2 and Cryin’ by Aerosmith except higher-pitched and creepier. Also, Danny Gokey, knowing that he had some way to go to top his off-kilter screeching last week, took on a Terence Trent D’Arby song that required him to a) dance and b) go “Doo-be-doop-ba-doob-a-dee-dwoop” like a hateful little tossbag.
So who’ll be eliminated from American Idol tomorrow? Honestly, we couldn’t care less. But we’d quite like it if an audience member could keep poking Simon Cowell in the back of the head with a stick until he lashes out and stabs someone, please.

from hecklerspray.com